I have always appreciated the mind and the power held within it.  I used to be quite careful about what I said among particular circles for fear of offending someone.  Our world is just a little too “PC”!  I believe that our mind, created by God, truly has the power to change our life.  I also believe that helping people use their mind to better themselves is important.  Therefore the study of the mind is also important, especially for Christians.  For many years there has been a subtle movement against psychology among Christians.  No doubt those folks have made large generalizations about psychology and those who study it while at the same time hating the large generalizations made about Christians. 

The Bible talks a great deal about the mind, its connection to the heart, and its connection to how we live.  It would seem to me the more we know about how our mind works, through philosophy and psychology, the healthier we would be.

  Consider Proverbs 23:7 “For as he thinketh within himself, so is he:” (ASV).  This is an interesting morsel of scripture.  When reading newer versions and translations of the Bible this verse disappears.  I think that is unfortunate.  Some people tend to have a negative, pessimistic view of life.  The other day I was with a friend who received a phone call and immediately assumed the associated circumstance was bad.  It was interesting watching my friend get worked up into a mental frenzy about the situation.  I told my friend to think positively about the situation and that it was detrimental, in more ways than one, to make such large negative assumptions. 

I know a lot of people who work themselves into being sick, negative, angry, bitter, etc. because that’s how they think.  There’s something to be said for seeing life as “the glass is half full”, or more specifically for Christians, “pressed down, shaken together, and running over” (Luke 6:38, ASV).  But for many this is easier said than done.  It takes practice, patience, and a true transformation.  One of my favorite verses of Scripture is found in Romans 12:2  “but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  Notice that we are transformed by the renewing of our mind, not our spirit, not our flesh, not our relationships, our mind! 

It takes a great deal of patience and practice to transform ourselves through our thoughts.  I still have days where I see my world as “half empty”  but the more I study, the more I think, the more I learn to transform my life into something great and positive.  Challenge yourself to see yourself as the beautiful masterpiece that God created you to be.  Try to think positively about every situation that comes your way today.

Blessings
PM

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My research and professional work centers itself around hurting people.  In fact in a research study I just completed many of the hurting people I talk with are more than hurting, they have been traumatized!  What I hate most about the trauma and hurt these great people have experienced is that it has come by the hands of the very organization and people they served.  As a researcher one tries to be objective and unbiased but, I have found it difficult to do so in my own work.  As I listen to the emotional stories of hurting ministers, I find myself trying to hold back my own emotions.

In fact I remember as though it was just a few hours ago, the period just after I had been forced out of a church through negative psychological pressure.  I was so angry, I wanted revenge, I wanted to take action, I wanted these people to hurt just as much as my own family and I were hurting.  At the same time I know God has His plan for my life and His plan is perfect.  That conflict Paul says, is a “war against the law of my mind” (Rom. 7:23).  I really had two choices, I could stay mad, angry, hurt, leave the church and my relationship with Christ or I could figure out a way to find peace for my own mind and my own life. 

Those who know me know the whole story, but I’ll share just a brief part here for the article.  I had been studying one day and read the following: “but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Rom. 12:2).  I have heard my grandfather quote this verse of scripture a thousand times or more, it is one of his favorites.  I paid little attention to it that day.  It would be almost a year later that those words would be brought to the forefront of my mind.  It was almost a year later that I experienced my forced termination and was wondering how to deal with my feelings.

Now its been years later and I still experience some of the long-term effects of having gone through a forced termination.  The difference between then and now is partly time but also learning to find peace and learning to love through the hurt.  I want to share some thoughts with you.

Paul’s dissertation to the Roman church has  a wealth of knowledge and advice that is still true today.  In Rom. 12:12 we are admonished to do three things: first, be joyful in hope, second, be patient in affliction, and third, be faithful in prayer.  These are three things that we must learn to do if we are to find peace and love during those most hurtful times in our life. 

How do we learn to be joyful in hope?  Look in the fifth chapter of the letter that Paul wrote to the Roman church.  Beginning in verse one, he says that ” since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God”.  Look in chapter four for more on justification through faith.  It is the “peace with God” that I want to focus on.  Notice it is not in God or because of God or even through God, that we have peace.  It is with God.  The word “with” indicates that a relationship with God  is necessary for peace and that God is accompanying us in life.  In other words when we have a personal relationship with God, His “peace of understanding” is in some small way “with” us.  His peace goes with us, it comes in with us, it thinks with us, it is with us and within us. 

This peace with God is obtained through “our Lord Jesus Christ” (Rom 5:1) and because of that relationship, not only do we have peace with God but we have gained access to grace.  That access to grace then allows us to “rejoice in the hope of the glory of God”; in other words the resurrection.  Paul goes on to say that not only do we rejoice in the hope, but we also rejoice in our sufferings.  Now this is much harder to do than writing it down on a piece of papyrus or an electronic blog.  We don’t rejoice because someone is hurting us, we don’t rejoice when we feel let down by the people we trust or love.  But we do rejoice that because of the peace we have with God, our hope is not in those we surround ourselves with, but rather it is in God.  Because His peace accompanies us our hurt and the suffering that goes with it is merely a shaping tool God can use to produce perseverance in us (Rom. 5:3).  That perseverance produces character and character produces hope (Rom. 5:4).  I’ll expound on this more at another time.   We can learn to be joyful in our hope and patient in our affliction (Rom 12:12).

When the pains of life have us feeling emotionally down, not only must we learn to be joyful in our hope and patient in our affliction, but we must be faithful in prayer.  This is probably more difficult than anything else when we are hurting, especially when that hurt has come from someone associated with our faith network.  When I was hurt, I wanted to talk to someone, anyone who would listen, but not God.  The only thing is when you go through something like a forced termination, no one wants to talk to you about it.  Forced termination of clergy is more taboo than the subject of sex, for the Church.  The only person I could talk to was God and I was mad that He had allowed it to happen. 

Prayer was difficult and still is sometimes because I remain so close to this subject.  There are days I still find myself angry, but I have to remember, had I not experienced it, I would not be doing what I’m doing now.  As my word count continues to skyrocket for this posting, I want to say that it is faithfulness in prayer that keeps that personal relationship with God where it needs to be.  When that personal relationship is where it needs to be, peace will accompany us through life. 

I am far from perfect, but those who really know me would say that I am a pretty peaceful guy.  I will continue to go through ebbs and flows as God continues to mold me.  No matter the significance of your hurt, you can learn to find peace and love through it.  As always, I welcome your comments.

 Blessings
PM

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When I first started this research in 2005, I was in a depressed state. I wanted to talk to people about my situation but was prohibited from doing so. There were stories I had heard about other’s experience with forced termination but the subject is so taboo facts were hard to come by. I vaguely remember reading an article in a magazine targeted to ministers on Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The article expressed opinions that ministers in extreme circumstances may experience these disorders. Although my experience with forced termination was devastating in more ways than one, I don’t think I was traumatized in the clinical sense. I have gone through my boxes of books and magazines (my wife can attest to the fact that I keep almost everything) and I can not find the article.

Over the past four years, while looking for the infamous article, I have been wanting to show some scientific proof that ministers who experience forced termination do indeed show signs of PTSD, GAD, and depressive symptoms. I have finally made the connection!! We recently wrote up some preliminary results of an ongoing project on Clergy Who Experience Trauma as a Result of Forced Termination. If you have experienced a forced termination and would like to participate in the project visit http://tinyurl.com/ng93f4.

The results are from a small sample of clergy that experienced a forced termination, 33 participants. We also highlight some excerpts from three interviews we did.

First, we scored ministers on the Perceptions of Terminated Ministers (PTM) developed by Tanner, Tanner, and Zvonkovic (2008). Sixty-eight percent of the sample held negative views of their termination experience. This is not so surprising but important for the next finding. Because I had a long held belief that forced termination is associated with symptoms of PTSD and GAD, we added items to the scale that measured for PTSD. With the addition of PTSD scale items, 58% of the sample scored above the mid-range, indicating symptoms of PTSD that are associated with forced termination. In an interview not included in this publication, a ministry couple was actually clinically diagnosed with PTSD.

Second, we scored ministers on level of mobbing activities. Mobbing activities are those that are performed by the faction or spokesperson that is in opposition to the minister. For example, a powerful family in the church may withhold important information that affects the job performance of the minister. Fifty-three percent of the sample scored above the mid-range, indicating that mobbing activities are associated with forced termination.

Both of these findings are very important when considering how to help ministry families who have gone through this horrendous experience. Not only do they show symptoms of PTSD, GAD, and depression, which are all treatable, we can point to a potential reason why they are so traumatized, mobbing. During our interviews, we uncovered other disturbing information in relation to mobbing. Many of the ministers were harassed both during the process of forced termination and even afterwards by the responsible party. They were constantly approached by a spokesperson and asked to resign, they were threatened in different ways when they didn’t. All of the participants were subject to psychological pressures, which are subtle messages sent by members of the faction to the minister. These subtle message might include members of the disgruntled party choosing to stop their tithing or even long-time members choosing to leave the church but keep their name on the membership list. These are all tactics that a disgruntled party uses to pressure a minister to leave. In very extreme cases, when a minister refuses to capitulate to the pressure, mobbing, and personal attacks, churches may try to take a minister to court and legally force him/her out.

This is a disturbing practice being performed by more and more of our churches. Some of you reading this may wonder why you don’t hear more about this disturbing practice. Another interesting theme we uncovered during our interviews was the practice of coercive threats. This happens when a church makes promises of severance pay when the minister leaves but threatens the minister to sign a contract prohibiting any public discussion of the events. Once the minister signs the contract, usually a sum much less than promised is given to the minister as severance. I have been personally subject to this practice by one church. Usually this coercive practice is carried out in a very intimidating procedure, where a room is set up much like a court room, sometimes microphones and recorders are used, other times judicatory officials are called in to be witnesses. Ministers usually have no choice but to sign a contract, walk out with a demeaning severance, and feel psychologically prohibited from ever speaking of the event, which lessens any chance for emotional healing.

As always, I welcome your comments.

Blessings
Pm

Paul exhorted us (the church) to move forward as a collective body, one in mind, body, and spirit.

Several things prompted this post today; my own research, the story on Pastor Tullian Tchividjian, and my own story. A quick update on the research, we started a qualitative project several months ago to collect data on ministers who have experienced forced termination. Previous projects were to determine prevalence rates of forced termination (preliminary data show about 25% across all Protestant denominations). In this new project, we are interviewing ministry couples on their forced termination experience. The stories have been heartbreaking and traumatic for those who experienced it. As I listen to these stories, I keep asking myself why does the church (I define the church as followers of Christ) do this to people? Why does the church feel it is ok to treat ministry families in such an un-Christlike way? Why does the rest of the church stand around and allow it to happen? I can say that in almost every circumstance of forced termination the responsible party(s) make up less than 5% of the total population of the congregation. That means that 95% of the congregation stands by as onlookers watching a family be emotionally tortured. And we wonder why the church has a hard time reaching the lost!!

You may not have heard the story of Pastor Tullian Tchividjian. His story is a forced termination being played out in view of the public. You can read some of the stories here In short, when Dr. James Kennedy died some time ago Pastor Tchividjian was voted in as the new pastor 91%. He would also be merging his own church with the 2,500-member Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Almost immediately a charge was led against him by a small minority in the church headed by the daughter of the late Dr. Kennedy. Pastor Tchividjian reports that between 100 and 200 people are against him and would like him to leave (they are forcing him out). That number is a little more than my reported 5% but still a small faction of people creating conflict in the congregation and a majority of people allowing it to happen. It is shameful! A great congregation, with a great legacy, left by a great man of God being dragged through the mud by a few people who don’t like the fact that the pastor doesn’t wear a robe to preach in like Dr. Kennedy did. The pastor said in a Christianity Today interview:

Francis Schaeffer once said that division inside the church gives the world the justification they’re looking for not to believe. This conflict ensued because those who had a grievance did not come to me or the leadership of the church, but they took it to the street. They did not follow Matthew 18.
As a result of not handling their grievance or their complaint biblically, conflict ensued and we gave the world the justification they’re looking for not to believe the gospel.

Last, this topic is close to my heart because my family experienced a forced termination. On Easter of 2005 I along with the Senior Pastor and the rest of the pastoral staff were forced to resign. Our story was very similar to Pastor Tchividjian’s. A new Senior Pastor had been voted in with an overwhelming majority, memory fails me but it was very close to 100%. Another church in the same town was without a Senior Pastor and most of its staff. A well-meaning board member approached the new Senior Pastor about merging the two churches. Another church in town wanted to by the property I served at. Sounded like a great idea. We had already purchased property to move, another church wanted our property to start a new inner city ministry, and the third church (without the staff) was without debt as well. It would have been a great move for the city and all the churches involved. But a few, less than 5%, wanted to hang on to all their trophies. It happened to be a family in my situation that had been there from the near beginning, they had donated many items that adorned the church, put in a lot of effort into making the church what it was. This small group of people started a campaign much like the article outlines on Pastor Tchividjian’s. They took to the streets gaining support for their cause. On the day of the merger vote, families who were on the role but had not attended in years showed up to vote. They won by a slim margin and forced us to resign.

At the time my wife was 7 months pregnant and was having complications with her pregnancy. We had just bought a house at the urging of the church and the pastor who hired us. The pastor who hired us even offered to help us with a down payment (which never happened). We had a seven year old at the time. The forced termination almost thrust us out of the ministry. We were devastated in every way, spiritually, emotionally, and because of that we were hurting physically. High chronic Stress has been well researched as a major underlying cause of most illnesses in Americans. Because we had lost half of our family income and would soon lose my wife’s income because of early hospitalization, we were devastated financially as well. The church had promised us a three months severance package but about a week or so after leaving, we were called to the church for a meeting. At that meeting I was forced to sign a letter saying, among other things, that I promised never to reveal anything about this event or talk about the church in a negative way, in order to get my severance. Feeling the financial pressure and being coerced by ranking members of my denomination, I signed the letter. They handed over my check for one months worth of pay minus all my benefits. It was essentially one week’s paycheck. Now some may say I’m breaking an agreement by talking about it here. So what!

Through my research I have learned that this is a tactic used by these small factions in order to hide the fact that they treat ministers like this. What is even more shameful is that judicatory officials of all denominations are usually involved at some level of this deceit. When will the church be who we were called to be, one body, one mind, and one spirit, working against the evils and principalities that would seek to destroy the body of Christ? When will the majority of Christ followers make a stand against such atrocities? I wonder if they ever will! I wonder if there will be much of a bride for Christ to come back for. Paul said, in Phil. 3:18 “For I have told you often before, and I say it again with tears in my eyes, that there are many whose conduct shows they are really enemies of the cross of Christ. 19 They are headed for destruction. Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth. 20 But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior.” (NLT) As always, I welcome your thoughts and comments. If you would like to speak out, have your voice heard, or would like to participate in our research, please visit our website, http://www.forcedtermination.com

Blessings
PM

I read someone else’s blog today that really got me thinking. I have other pressing matters to attend to besides writing this post, but there were several things I read that seem to stew on my mind. I suppose the only way to get rid of the stew is to write about it.

Certainly I wouldn’t reveal the blogger but if the blogger happens to read this post I mean no offense, I just want to provide a different perspective. These are a few quotes that really got me thinking:

“You never know when you might need to walk back across that bridge you are in the process of burning. “

“If you find yourself in a transition moment or thinking one is imminent, began to plan now how you will leave well.”

“Purpose in your heart and mind not to have the “tell-all” conversation on your way out!”

The blogger was talking about ministry transitions and it would seem by these quotes and other content of the post, forced termination is partially implied. As the title to this post would indicate, I question whether someone who is forced from a ministry position against their will for no legitimate cause is really burning bridges or being left behind. From my own experience, even through the horrendous physical, emotional, and spiritual trials me and my family were put through, we tried to leave well, but as a previous post indicates, we were treated as though we had leprosy by those in the ministry who once called us friends. The thing is, and I believe anyone who has ever experienced a forced termination in ministry would agree, is that nobody wants to really talk to you after you’ve been forced out. In the ministry, it’s like a disease that can be transmitted by discussing personal relevant matters. It seems so strange that ministers have the hardest time relating personally with those they have the most in common with, ministers. I have had very few people (ministers) contact me, keep in touch with me, etc. Why should they? I was forced out and that must mean that I was the person who did something wrong, right? No way! Although I would love to walk across some of the bridges I thought I was building, what I found was that the person on the other side, put up a condemned sign that read “do not cross”. Perhaps I’m being a little dramatic for effect.

Secondly, “plan to leave well”. In my own research and that of others in the field, we have discovered that ministers who are forced out are usually forced out for no legitimate cause. I have discovered that there may exist a process to forced termination that could take up to several years and start as early as a month into a call. When a minister is being forced from a church for no legitimate reason, the counsel I and many other have sought has always come back to the advice to “leave well”. In my youth, I would have never equated that with lying but now I have discovered that is exactly what it is. When I was forced to resign from my last church assignment, I was a staff pastor who was caught in the middle of a stupid disagreement between irrational church people. The real reason I left was because the irrational group said that if a particular vote was not approved they wanted the entire pastoral staff to resign. In the process of “leaving well”, I was forced to resign citing (“lying”) that God was transitioning us to a new ministry. That wasn’t the truth. Further, although I was promised a severance package, I was forced to sign a paper saying I approved of a significant decrease in what was given to me. Another lie. How are ministers supposed to feel good about what they are doing if “leaving well” means having to lie from behind the pulpit?

Now I should squash any attempts to say that what I am saying is heresy. There are those that would say there are ways to leave well, without telling the gory details of the reason behind leaving. Perhaps there is a weak argument for that. As with most ministers who are forced out, they are not leaving because they feel it is the will of God, they are not leaving because they feel called to another ministry or church, they are leaving (research indicates…life indicates) because a small group of disgruntled people have determined that their will is for the minister to leave. It would appear that God’s will has nothing to do with forced termination, so why include it in a public resignation?

Third, “purpose not to have a tell-all conversation“. I agree with the spirit of this saying but I disagree with the message it sends. The message it sends is that its not okay to talk about what really happened. The connotation it has is that saying nothing means it never happened. I have to tell you, that when I was forced out, one of the worst problems I had in overcoming the situation was that I couldn’t talk to anybody about it. Sure I had people give me the, “if you need to talk, I’m here for you” thing, but they weren’t. Any attempts to share my frustration, anger, depression, any other feelings, were met with, “pray about it”, “I’ll be praying about it”, “Depression is sin”, “You need to forgive”, I could go on but I think you get the point. No one was really listening.

Let me sum this up, I think leaders do need to find a way to leave as well as they can. However, I think especially ministers, need a forum to talk openly and honestly about their experiences. A minister of the “Truth” should never feel like he/she has to lie in order to “leave well”. I think that in effort to “leave well”, we have actually perpetuated the problem of problem people in the church. I think denominations have done very little to advocate for the very people that are the foundation of their movement, propagators of the Gospel. I know in my own research I have hit a very cold shoulder from national denominations, who imply that forced termination is not a real problem. I’ll share more about how big a problem it really is in a future post.

As always, I invite comment and if you need a place to share openly and honestly about your experiences visit our new site at http://www.forcedtermination.blogspot.com leave us a comment.

Blessings
Marcus

I have already mentioned that in a recent study I completed, 41% of ministers had experienced a forced termination. If that number doesn’t get people to think that there is a problem, I don’t know what will. I have also mentioned that prominent ministry leaders have suggested more than 20,000 ministers leave the ministry each year. Another startling number.

We started HealingChoice a few years back partly because of our experience with forced termination (I’ll share more later). But also, because we had friends that experienced forced termination. What we found was that very little is done to help ministers who have been forced out. Specifically what we found were retreat centers, some specifically for ministers and other just faith based. Some of them were free (shack in the middle of nowhere), some of them were on donation (slightly better housing not in the middle of nowhere), and some of them wanted thousands of dollars. Of course I couldn’t afford the Mecca of retreat centers, I had been forced from my job. At such a low emotional point in my life, a shack in the middle of nowhere, was probably not the best place to be. However, I applaud those who want to do what they can.

To the heart of what I want to say, “it happens”. This is what I heard from so many people I tried to talk to about what I experienced. “It happens”. Sure, but does it have to? Is there something denominations and churches can do to squelch the phenomenon? Is there something ministers can do themselves? I wonder what you have to say on the subject…

Blessings
Marcus

John 15:12-13 This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. (MsgB)

I was shocked as many were to hear the news that a minister was stepping down from a high ranking position, “involving ethical misconduct and inappropriate interaction with a woman that did not involve physical intimacy.” I feel very sad for him and his family. I do not know the specifics of this incident nor do I know the man, I just read the report. In this blog I want to contrast the treatment this man and another are/have received.

The second man, a few years back was also a high ranking official in the same group. He had come to pastor a new church. Through a series of horrendous events at the hands of “God’s people”, he and his pastoral staff were forced from their position within a year after his call. Of course there is more to the story, and another side to the story, but from where I viewed the incident, the ministers and their families were forced out because a small group of people did not want to merge with another church. The pastor was not the initiator of the merger idea, rather it was a board member. The pastor was interested in the idea and wanted to pursue “fact-finding”. At the end of the fact-finding process, there would be a vote (yes or no). Seems like a simple process. The group wanted none of it and tried to hinder the process the entire way.

I think that is probably enough background to know what was going on, the point of the story was to tell what happened to the pastor and his staff after it was all over. They were accused by the church of trying to destroy it and usurp the authority of the governing by-laws, etc. The governing group stripped them of their ordination, and they were shunned by ministers who once “loved” them.

The man that just stepped down from his position because of an inappropriate relationship will “at a future time, following a period of rehabilitation yet to be determined, his ministry within our Fellowship will continue with great effectiveness.” My problem is that this man is being afforded rehabilitation (which by the way I am for) and an opportunity to continue to minister (which I am also for). This man, although I am not sure the accusation makes any sense, had an inappropriate relationship and is going to receive help from his fellow ministers (and HealingChoice if we’re ever called upon), love from his fellow ministers, support from his fellow ministers. The pastor, his staff, and their families, through no fault of their own were psychologically and emotionally castigated by “God’s people” for an entire year. Their punishment for trying to follow God’s will was to be thrown out of the group, to be shunned by their fellow ministers, to be scorned by many involved.

Something about the result of those two occurrences doesn’t make sense. As a result of one man’s actions, he will receive help, love, and support. As a result of a mean group of people forcing ministers to terminate, the ministers received no help, love, or support. Perhaps, it is time for us (Christians) to follow Christ’s command in all situations, that we “Love one another the way [He] loved us”. As always, I invite comment.

Blessings
Marcus